Ducky Diaries: 10 life hacks for the exhausted mom:

Sunday, July 23, 2017

10 life hacks for the exhausted mom:

1. Wear Tie dye and camo patterns. A lot. Basically all the time, own nothing else. Is that a booger on your sleeve? Jelly? Urine? No one knows, who can tell really. Bonus points if you're wearing camo- it's invisible!

2. Save time on dishes by buying paper plates, bowls, and plastic utensils. Or just never cook. Questionable take-out builds immunity.

3. If your kiddo uses that grown up word they heard from someone (not you, never you) correctly and in proper context, give yourself a pat on the back. Good grammar skills go far in life.

4. Don't clean anything with poop on it.  EVER. Just toss it. Even the baby (Thanks Brandie!). You don't need that kind of negativity in your life!

5. Teach your child/children that wine is sparkling water. This has a two-fold benefit.

You get to day drink and when your child blurts out "Is that your sparkling water momma?!", in public, you look sophisticated and hydrated!

6. Don't bother making beds ever again. No one has time for that. Buy puppy pads instead. They make great sheets. And if someone has a nighttime leak just toss the pad!

7. Tired of cleaning up toys and repeating yourself over and over again? Play the 'trash bag game'! This is especially fun when the wee sprites begin to cry (it's like your very own dramatic Broadway play!).

Basically you grab the nearest trash bag and scream maniacally "YOU BETTER HOPE YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR TOYS QUICKER THAN I CAN!". There are many variations to this game so feel free to let your creativity fly.

8. Trash bags also double as stylish clothing options. Ponchos, dresses, shirts, bag skirts, so skip the laundry! Very Boho chic.

9. Visit your friends! Take your kids! And then go to the bathroom and sneak out the window. Voila- enjoy that elusive "Me time" everyone is raving about.

And lastly-

10. Smeared toothpaste on bathroom counters doubles as cleaner and actually brings a shine to your fixtures.

There you have it! Solutions to all the problems you didn't even know you had!

Stay classy moms. 

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