Ducky Diaries: January 2016

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Things my kids do while I sh!t

- Demolish an entire room.

- Rip curtain rods from the wall.

- Wear my shoes, slide into things and hurt themselves.

- Tell on each other for breathing.

- Break into the hall closet and find leftover wrapping paper.

- Cover the living room with said wrapping paper.

- Empty my entire purse and find the one ink pen.

- Write on our white door with ink pen.

- Color on each other with ink pen.

- Pound on the bathroom door, screaming, until I open it.

- Close the bathroom door leaving it open just a crack.

- Stare at me through the crack, silently judging me while I cry.

- Close the bathroom door and resume screaming.

- Beat the crap out of each other and then refuse to tell me anything.

- Eat Play-Doh.

- Convince their sibling to eat Play-Doh.

- Plead with me for treats.

- Tear apart their coloring books.

- Tell me everything Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are doing on the current episode of My Little Pony.

- Sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

- Scream at me through the door until I sing Bingo.

- Ask me if I'm pooping.

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