Ducky Diaries: Being wrong can be beautiful

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Being wrong can be beautiful

A few months back we began the process of ordering a wheel chair for Bear.  

The rep for the company sold me on a particular model with crazy adaptive seating components for Bear.  The seating would move with him, WITH HIM!  No throwing himself backwards because, OMG, the seat would bend and contract with him!  It would be stylish and sleek, and mostly, just look like a giant stroller.  Seriously, it looks like a giant stroller.

No one was happy about that, but, we felt the benefits outweighed the actual look of the chair. 

We ordered said chair and received the quote, a total of almost $6,500.00.  ACK!

However, Bear's physical therapist put a stop on the order convinced Bear needed a wheel chair he could self propel..... 

"But what about all the seating!!!  The seating that will surely save him!!!  Save him from himself!"
I thought to myself and said out loud. 

"And how do we KNOW he can and or will ever self propel??!!  HOW CAN WE KNOW THESE THINGS!???!?!?!  " 

I also thought and said out loud...  Vehemently.   Because why waste our money on a chair that won't work for him.  

Mrs. V, the physical therapist just kept insisting I wait and see.....   And wait before finalizing the order. 

So I did.  

About 6 weeks.

And yesterday as I made my way to Bears school where the chair company had dropped off two wheel chairs to test out, I had the same thoughts running through my head.  "It's not possible, he can't even crawl. How is he supposed to have the strength to propel himself in a wheel chair!?"  I was irritated.

 And as I made my way to the children's motor activity room I caught sight of Bear strapped into a very basic looking, child sized wheel chair with two big tires and little bitty light up tires.   He looked irritable, but he's 2.5 years old.  He always looks irritable nowadays. So I quickly pushed aside any possible motherly worry   I set  a kicking Zo-Zo down on the padded floor to crawl off and play, the other children and therapists willingly offered to watch her (she's cute and persuasive like that).   

I joined D.i.c. (who was already at school with Bear) and Bear and Mrs. V. in the hallway.

I kneeled about 3 feet in front of Bear and coaxed him to come to me.  Knowing he wouldn't.

To my amazement, he did, I shit you not!  He wheeled right to me on his own. His two tiny toddler sized hands on two over sized wheels, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Wheeling his self, down the hall.........

 I was wrong.  And it was beautiful.

I cried, literally, cried as I watched Bear wheel after his father, playing tag.  Playing, tag. With his father! Following him, laughing, do I dare say, chasing him.   It's a moment none of us realized how much we needed.   Our son had independence.  True independence to explore and play on a level he's never experienced.   It's such a big deal and so hard to put into the words necessary to make everyone else understand.  It was amazing. 

I wish I would have taken pictures, I thought about it, for a brief second, but I was also crying and enjoying the moment.  I couldn't comprehend taking my eyes off him and this moment in time.  I needed to embed it to my soul.   As cheesy as it sounds, it's the truth. 

As I continued crying, Mrs. V rubbed my back and said "Isn't it awesome!? I told you.". 

Dear Mrs. V.

You did tell me, and I didn't believe you.  I was wrong.  I'm so happy I was wrong. 
Thank you for proving me wrong with such a beautiful moment.
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1 comment:

Jennifer H. said...

YAAAY! GO Z-MAN!!! This story made my heart smile! :)