Ducky Diaries: The bloody truth

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The bloody truth

So here I am at midnight, writing.... 

It seems like the most logical thing to be doing since I now enjoy the 3rd trimester tango with insomnia. 

Plus I just watched a very, Very, VERY, disturbing episode of "My Strange Addiction" on TLC and am feeling both disgusted and incredibly creeped out.      I'm still shaking slightly from the mind trip and nauseas. 

You can check it out for yourself here  ------- >  I want to suck your blood 

Anyways, so as I'm awake, whatever the reason, I kind of wanted to vent a wee bit about something I heard from another pregnant person recently. 

This person told me that her husband doesn't witness the births of their children, per choice, because he thinks it will ruin his sexual desire for his wife. 


And she's okay with him just chilling in the waiting room or at home until everything is all sewn back up and the wee babe is swaddled and cleaned.   


If you are like me, or most women and have given birth, and your significant other just decided he didn't want to come, you'd be livid, I assume...  However, I do understand there are other circumstances why some fathers may not be present, and even in the event that hey, the poor guy would pass out cold from horror,  we as women will make exceptions. .  

However, excuse me if I am wrong, but I did NOT do this to myself or all by myself!!!  And I happen to think that watching the birth of a child is one of those dues a man should pay to his spouse for a million different reasons. 

For a husband to just skip out as to not lose his sexual view of his wife is a weird one for me. 

 I can't get over this mans view and I keep asking myself , "Is he serious?!". 

I even had to ask my husband if he viewed me as less desirable after witnessing the birth of our 21 month old son son...

His words, "I cried as I professed my love for you and our brand new child, how can it get more passionate than that!?"......

Well put husband, well put.    

And then he assured me that the fact that he has only ever turned me down when he was truly sick less than a handful of times should be the proof that backs all this up.    I married a keeper, I am so aware of this.

Then he said that it sounds like "This guy thinks too much"  meaning the other husband.

However, all of this got me to thinking how can we as mothers, and fathers, and a community teach our boys how to view their counterparts as more than sexual objects. 

Don't get me wrong, sex is fantastic. And being viewed as sexy has it's perks, but my husband also views me as intelligent, funny, opinionated, the mother of his most prized accomplishments, hails  my breasts for the fact that they are sexual as well as a thriving food source for his infants.  And that my lady bits, are awesome, and have brought forth life.  LIFE to another HUMAN! 

So how do we instill all of those things? 

As a mother to a son, I wonder what I can do to ensure those values.  

Sex is good, but, women are not just for sex. 

It's tough.  So tough.  Everything in our culture and media scream out that we are nothing more than objects for pleasure, and that my friends saddens me. 

To think that a man willingly misses out on perhaps one of the most meaningful moments he can share with another person in life, just to preserve his sexual mindset, is so strange to me. 

Maybe I am just reading too far into the whole situation, but, maybe I'm not. 

Call me crazy, but I think my husband will remember and value witnessing this

far longer than the sexy lingerie I wore on our wedding night.    

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