Little Rose Bush, won't you bloom?

     

         I have a small miniature rose bush

that Thomas bought me for Valentines Day this past

year, and today, it taught me a very valuable lesson.

  

   The day Tom came home with it, the bush was new and 

shiny and perfect  with no faults in my eyes.

It was bright green and leafy, and a week or 

so later, it blossomed into beautiful reds,pinks, and

fuscia roses!  Fast forward a few more weeks,

the leaves began to droop and the flowers began

to die from lack of sunlight. Living in a basement

level apartment with no windows high enough off the ground 

to provide adequet light apparently, not so good for plant life.

And,  our window screens were  fused shut so we couldn't place the

 bush outside in direct sun-light.....

        I continued to water and prune  hoping that 

it would survive at least until we moved and I could plant it

out-doors.  Well, finally we moved, but before I could plant my 

rose bush, it was knocked over, lost a lot of soil, and all the blooms fell off

 and once again I thought the poor thing was going to completely 

die or at the very least, never flourish.

 Finally a month ago, we planted the rose bush in our garden.

There was little to no change until today.  

        As I was standing on my patio looking at my little apartment  sized garden, I noticed a bulbous shape on the top of that  faithful little rose bush. 

 Lo and behold it has began to bloom

once again!   

This got me thinking about Zachary.  When I began this blog, it was still yet to be discovered that ANYTHING was even wrong with him.  He was just a usual cranky crying new baby doing what he was supposed to.   Fast forward almost a full year, (a year you have all been with me).  And now, there's never a day that I'm not wondering if I'm doing enough for him, if we need to put him through more testing, less testing, take a break from it, go forward with it.  I ask myself everyday if I'm providing everything in my power to help him grow and thrive. And most of the time, I feel like a failure, just going through the same motions, over and over.    And then, this little bush outside of my door, takes me by surprise and helps me re-set my thought process.  

        What if, I just need to be his mother and

take care of him. What if, I need to just step back and 

relax.  What if, I need to let him "bloom" in his own time

in his own way.  What if, I need to just stop worrying so much 

( Now there's a crazy concept. Moms, not worry?!).

           Might I just happen to notice one day, that

he'll come full circle right under my nose.  That would be amazing.