Ducky Diaries: Little Rose Bush, won't you bloom?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Little Rose Bush, won't you bloom?

         I have a small miniature rose bush
that Thomas bought me for Valentines Day this past
year, and today, it taught me a very valuable lesson.
   The day Tom came home with it, the bush was new and 
shiny and perfect  with no faults in my eyes.
It was bright green and leafy, and a week or 
so later, it blossomed into beautiful reds,pinks, and
fuscia roses!  Fast forward a few more weeks,
the leaves began to droop and the flowers began
to die from lack of sunlight. Living in a basement

level apartment with no windows high enough off the ground 
to provide adequet light apparently, not so good for plant life.
And,  our window screens were  fused shut so we couldn't place the
 bush outside in direct sun-light.....

        I continued to water and prune  hoping that 
it would survive at least until we moved and I could plant it
out-doors.  Well, finally we moved, but before I could plant my 
rose bush, it was knocked over, lost a lot of soil, and all the blooms fell off
 and once again I thought the poor thing was going to completely 
die or at the very least, never flourish.

 Finally a month ago, we planted the rose bush in our garden.
There was little to no change until today.  

        As I was standing on my patio looking at my little apartment  sized garden, I noticed a bulbous shape on the top of that  faithful little rose bush. 

 Lo and behold it has began to bloom
once again!   

This got me thinking about Zachary.  When I began this blog, it was still yet to be discovered that ANYTHING was even wrong with him.  He was just a usual cranky crying new baby doing what he was supposed to.   Fast forward almost a full year, (a year you have all been with me).  And now, there's never a day that I'm not wondering if I'm doing enough for him, if we need to put him through more testing, less testing, take a break from it, go forward with it.  I ask myself everyday if I'm providing everything in my power to help him grow and thrive. And most of the time, I feel like a failure, just going through the same motions, over and over.    And then, this little bush outside of my door, takes me by surprise and helps me re-set my thought process.  

        What if, I just need to be his mother and
take care of him. What if, I need to just step back and 
relax.  What if, I need to let him "bloom" in his own time
in his own way.  What if, I need to just stop worrying so much 
( Now there's a crazy concept. Moms, not worry?!).

           Might I just happen to notice one day, that
he'll come full circle right under my nose.  That would be amazing.  


Anonymous said...

It is going to happen, Momma. I know it will!

Do you know the story called, Leo the Late Bloomer. I love this children's book. Try to find it at the library if you don't know of it.


Anonymous said...

He most certainly will! On his terms Momma, when he's ready! Love, Melissa

Candace said...

I've never heard of that Joanne. I will definitely have to find it. Thanks for the tip! :)

Candace said...

Thank you so much Melissa, I think so to. :)