Ducky Diaries: April 2012

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Saturday- Kitchen Sink Mafia

           Today is a great day!  Why you ask?   Well, let me tell you!   I got off work and arrived home approximately a little after 2 a.m. , fell asleep at 3:30 a.m.  proceeded to be woken up by screaming baby at 6:00 a.m.  with his little knife teeth bothering him and here I am.  Awake, tired, you know, all that good stuff.

           But oh wait, THERE'S MORE!!!!   We've been visited by the Kitchen Sink Mafia!   For those of you that have never ran into these dangerous criminals, be glad!  They are the destroyer of destroyers!   I don't know what it is exactly that we've done, but we've been visited by them many times.   We thought we were in the clear once we moved out of our old apartment, but, they found us again.   Let me show you the ways of the kitchen sink mafia.

This is our sink at our old apartment less than 4 months ago.   The mafia , knocked our sink clean through the counter!

There's More!!!!!   

 This is my sink currently at our new place.   The bottom one is supposed to be above the top one, but, my computer isn't doing what it's supposed to. 

So, I've been on the phone trying to get someone out here for the past hour and,  they don't hire plumbers on the weekend because it's too expensive and you know, this just NEVER HAPPENS!  O.m.g!  So help me if someone doesn't get their ass out here in the next 15 minutes I am going to wipe my butt on this lease and tell them to suck what God didn't bless me with!!!!  
Oh and did I mention just a few days ago, I had to THROW ALL OF ZACHARY'S SIPPYS AND BOTTLES AWAY BECAUSE OUR DISHWASHER DEPOSITED SOME UNKNOWN UN-WASHABLE SUBSTANCE ALL OVER THEM ALL!!!!?????????    Argh!   I just quit.  I am just done.   Obviously the dumb-ass maintenance guy that swung by after I went to work last night with a bottle of draino, because you know, what apartment maintenance would be equipped with plumber qualities or a snake, had no idea the fury he was awakening in my sink.   I have NO CLEAN BRAND NEW BOTTLES OR SIPPYS AT THE MOMENT (that of course we had to re-buy since his others were destroyed)!    

I just received a call that nothing can be done until Monday!  Did I mention, I have a moat in my kitchen, and it's carpeted?!   

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The end of a "quiet" era. The "Almost Toddler".

        I would like to take this time to bypass my usual talk of my sons ongoing medical issues and discuss, well, ordinary everyday life.  Why because, it's my blog, and I am currently grinding it out at my computer listening to Jessie J "Do it like a dude" (HEY, DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, I WILL CUT YOU!) because I am a gangster.    Yes, yes I am.  

        Anyways,  the one thing they told us in the hospitals, is that, babies cry, a lot.  Then they proceeded to force us to watch the horrible 'Don't shake the baby' videos that made us cry, then made our significant others fast forward through the dvd, because, HEY YOU WILL NOT MAKE MY OVERLY EMOTIONAL FIANCE' CRY AFTER SHE JUST HAD A HUMAN CRAWL OUT OF HER ONCE PRETTY VAGINA!.   However they didn't tell us that, the crying would subside and you would have an era where peace reigned supreme. Well, some of us would, at least.  And all would work, and schedules would be created and followed and you would revel in this new creation you have worked so hard to bring forth.

          But what they didn't tell us, those ever so helpful nurses and Dr.s, was that the era of peace would end and so forth would come a force to be reckoned with, otherwise known as the "Almost Toddler" .  The all capable mighty non-talking, but talks all the time, "I can do it myself except for when I can't do it myself and WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THIS FOR ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!????????  "Almost Toddler".

          Oh, these mighty little beasts are a true force of nature that can halt the most hard hearted individual with a bat of their adorable saucer shaped eyes and drop a mother to their knees in one scream of pain, excitement, or because they realize they can now scream whenever and for whatever reason and get a reaction.   And..... The laundry!  Why didn't they tell us about the LAUNDRY!!!????   Because now that the spit up stage is over, what we're left with is a massive mess with glops of food stuffs and puffs smashed to their bottoms and sweet potato in their hair, and yogurt under their shirts (HOW DID YOU GET THAT THERE, ZACHARY!?)   Add to this the POOPLOSIONS!  Because now, they can MOVE, and smoosh, and jump, and 'giggle giggle squish' it out of every possible clothing orifice.   UGH! POOOO!    The cute little "P.U. You Tinky"  has turned to actual gagging and vomiting noises that have in fact, scared my son.   Oi Vey!

          And......  The dishes!   The sippy's and bottles and baby utensils, and miniture plates and high chair trays!    Because, you know, he's a big boy now and big boys, apparently just chew and play with their bottles until you put the contents in a sippy and then they just throw that around until some unknown juice medley is on your wonderful new pretty carpet!  And then you put it back into a bottle only for them to resume squeezing the bottle nipple and squirting juice in their hair, until you take the bottle and then....... they scream, as though, you know, ZOMG! YOU'RE STARVING THAT POOR BABY!!!!  Jebus!

            So, until tomorrow, you win "Almost Toddler".  I will go drink now, and let your reign of tyranny continue, but tomorrow, sweet tomorrow, after I sleep, I'm in charge.


Monday, April 16, 2012

My child will not be your guinea pig.

We received a letter from the genetics department today.   I would like to share the end of it.   

                "Zachary's face is significant for close set eyes with a low nasal bridge and generally small nose with a bulbous tip, and a small jaw giving his face a close set appearance.  

                  Impression:  Zachary is a 9 month old with developmental delays, hypotonia, and dysmorphic features. We have discussed that we can start the genetic workup and continue with an ultrasound of the abdomen and pelvis and we will be happy to facilitate with the brain magnetic resonance imaging in any way we can. Once we have all this information it may be helpful in guiding us for other studies. "

                  First off, Dysmorphic features? What does this even mean?!   Why can't they tell you as the parent, the one that created, birthed, takes care of the child, these things.   I found out through a duplicate copy sent to our pediatrics office.  

          And secondly, other studies?   When did parents become obsolete in the medical industry?  I don't care who you are, Miss Genetics Dr., covered in facial and neck warts/tumors.  What's wrong with you!?  Why can't I as a parent butt into your life and ask why you look so gross!  What if I don't want your wart-y fingers all over my child!?    

           What if I don't want a multitude of tests ran on my child.  What if I want to give it a little time to see how he develops.  What can you offer me outside of the physical therapy that he is receiving weekly already?  

          Oh, you can offer me weekly blood drawls and tests, and M.R.I.'s, and kidney ultrasounds,   and eye doctors, and dilated pupils, and unknown diagnosis that make my heart pound and my head hurt......   

          And I can have no say in any of it whatsoever, and you can shuttle us wherever and to whoever and hurt my baby....   Sure, sign me up for another three rounds.  

        I don't care who these Dr.s are and what degree's they may have obtained over the years of schooling.  It doesn't make one iota of difference to me, bottom line, I AM THE PARENT!  This is my child.  There will be no further testing until I APPROVE!    And I happen to think that since all the tests you have signed off on, so far, have ALL come back normal and clear, you will be doing NO further testing at this point.   Mamma Bear has roared and you will hear me medical professionals.   We will give this little boy a little time to develop.  Whatever is there will be there in August when we continue with your tests.



Saturday, April 14, 2012

What is in a Name....... Brand?

As a mom, 

         you learn things along the road.  Valuable life lessons.  Money lessons.  Sometimes in-expensive is the best, sometimes expensive or costly is the best.  
There are a few things I have learned that it is better to spend the money once than a million times over.   

Example A:

Diaper Bags.   The Giraffe bag on the left is the brand new one we just bought that was a little costly.  The bag on the right, is a freebie that one of my dear friends gave us shortly after Zachary was born.  The new one is obviously bigger, which is great, but it's also sturdier, and comes with pockets and zippered hiding spots (OH MY FLIPPIN GOSH!) and a diaper changing pad and a plastic tiny misc. objects holder.    The freebie is torn to shreds inside(Literally I took a picture of that to, but when I went to upload it, apparently, I the dumb idiot made a video and not a picture.)  There were no inner pockets, and now there are.   Don't get me wrong, this plain black bag has lasted us 10 long months and can probably tell you stories to make you feel sorry for it!    

                                  However, that leads me back to my post on Name Brand products versus bargain shopping. Everyone that knows me, knows I am the Goodwill shopping center QUEEN!  If I was rich, I would be one of those Goodwill hoarding nic nacs, wind-chimed,  covered women in a cat sweater!  I am SO NOT KIDDING HERE FOLKS!  

                                  Anyways- There are certain things I feel that you should splurge on now, rather than re-purchase in the long run:   

Namely- Diaper Bags, these will be a constant companion so do yourself a favor and SPLURGE!   

CribsYes they are expensive, but, your child will most likely use this up to 2-3 years of age.  Unless they co-sleep, and if they do, I hate you, because my son shunned co-sleeping with me at 5 months old.  He is a brat.  

Any toy that your child gets put into- Swings, Jumperoos, Exersaucers, anything that holds your child, in my opinion should have the strength and safety level of a mothers arms.  That's my OPINION!  

Car SeatsThis is the one thing that you WILL depend on to SAVE your child's life in the event of a crash, and when your hubby falls down the stairs, with your sweet baby.    ANYTHING used to PROTECT your child should have quality standards and ALWAYS be up to date on ALL REQUIREMENTS!  That's the EXPERTS opinion. Most of the women I know are currently upgrading to big kid seats from their infant seats. Anyone unsure of the regulations please read this before purchasing a new seat.

                                     With that said, there are things that don't need to be costly. 

ClothesI don't care who you are, your child would ALWAYS 100% rather be comfy over fashionable, until he's 13 or if you have a girl, until she's 5.  LOLZ

Diapers-  I forgot to originally add this one so I had to come back to do it.   Diapers are one of those things that depends on your child's bottom and your preference as a mommie.  You can go cloth, disposable, do both interchangeably.  You can buy expensive cloth diapers, make your own inexpensive cloth diapers.  Or you can buy expensive disposables or inexpensive disposables!   We went the route of disposable and found out really quickly that Huggies or Luvs make Zachary's butt look like a mini pepperoni pizza!  However, Dollar Store brand and Walmart Parent Choice diapers work great and cause no rash whatsoever.  This is one that can go in either category and really does depend on namely, baby butt first and foremost!   (Thank you Katie for making mention of diapers!) 

Bottles- If your child will take inexpensive brand bottles, go you!  Can we say Cha-ching in your wallet!? We learned that Zachary could care less if he drank out of Tommee Tippie bottles or Walmart Brand Parents Choice bottles.  So of course, which do you think we went with!?  It's $3.00 for a 3 pack of 9 ounce bottles at WALMART!  OMG SO MANY BOTTLES, SO LITTLE MONEY!  

Sippy Cups- We have a variety of inexpensive as well as the more expensive ones, it boils down to, which one will your kid take.  Zachary prefers the Nuby Brand.  Not terribly expensive at all.  They range from $3-$5 dollars. 

PacifiersAlways make sure any object used to feed or soothe your child is up to requirements and doesn't easily pull apart if it isn't one piece.  If your child will take the one piece pacifiers, definitely try them. Always remember, ANYTHING that can be placed in your childs mouth can become a choking hazard so do watch them.   We like the GumDrop pacis.   
Low cost and a one piece.   

                 So here you have it, awesome advice from a First Time Mom.  All you moms of more, go ahead and slap me and tell me to shut my yapper.   My rant for the day is over.  Zachary just passed out in his exersaucer and it looks horribly uncomfortable.   Must rescue my BABEZ!      

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Everything else can wait.

10 months today!  

Today, my little boy, turned 10 months old. 
And, he gave me the best gift ever.  He closed his little eyes and fell fast asleep against my chest.  This is something that rarely happens anymore.  Actually, I think it's been at least 3 months since the last time.   I'll take it.  

                                    It is a bittersweet thing for most mothers, that moment where cuddles become few and far between.  And snuggles turn into "No's" and tantrums.  It's a wonderful feeling to be spending time getting to know our children as little people, but it is hard to let go of our tiny little babies.   And even myself, I have trouble with this letting go thing.  Zachary is still unable to do so many things, such as crawl, sit unassisted for extended time, or cruise along furniture. However he is so fiercely independent, and I applaud that.  I help him do the things he cannot, and I help him with what he can do, when he allows me.    That's how it is, isn't it?   

                                   The feeling of being needed, but not wanted.   That's the only way I can describe it.  At this stage, our babies look back to make sure we are there, to be their safety nets, but then they look forward, and off they go, to do their own thing.   

                                    And as I look back at all the time we've had, 10 long months, really isn't that long, but it's long enough to erase anything that came before.  The exhausting 9 months of pregnancy I thought would never end, the 15 and a half hours of natural labor that I was sure was going to kill me.   It's all a blur now.   Just a big speedy blur that I can't seem to stay caught up with.

                                   Life now, is just the three of us in our little bubble of laughs, stress, laundry piling high,  and every day common life things.  It's wonderful, most days, exhausting others. I won't complain though because the last 10 months have been time well spent, and everything that doesn't get done, well, it can wait until tomorrow.  

  We've come such a long way from this moment.  

-Also, for anyone wondering,  Zachary has the "All clear" on his Prader Willi testing, so yay!  No P.W.S !  And we're waiting for his chromosome testing to come back.  If that all comes back clear, we're taking a break on blood-work testing and moving on to an M.R.I. to start looking for anything Neurological.    
- And, that awesome coupon I was bragging about in my last post, totally didn't get to use it.  It expired on the 7th.   :(     sad momma. 

Friday, April 6, 2012

A look into the life of Mommies, we're not so different.

I want to share some pictures, because even I couldn't write a post as funny and real, that could be demonstrated better.   

This is one of my 3 place-mats, on my dining room table. A note to Tom reminding him to go renew his car tags, a long line of Dr.s cards (if they were monies, I be a rich bitch!) And look, a Kohl's $10.00 off coupon my friend Brittany gave me!!!  Ask me if I am excited.....  Because I am SO excited! 

I look like a mess, my eyes are swollen because I got Vicks Vapo rub in them last night. I don't even know how.  And...  Look in my hair, WTF?! is that?  Mandarin Oranges from Zachary's lunch, he fed himself, I'm not sure how or when it got in my hair, I only found out 15 minutes ago when I got done pooping. 

And this is the pile of clean clothes awaiting my attention now that Zachary is down for his nap (Please God, let him sleep for the next 2 hours so I can relax after folding all this!).   

   I would post a picture of all the bottles, sippy cups, baby spoons, and the high-chair tray that are covering my kitchen counters, however, I'm sure you can look at your counter tops and feel my pain.  Unless you're awesome and already did all your cleaning for the day, and in that case, you disgust me!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

If a heart could bleed.


       I post things from a funny perspective.  Not tonight.  I don't care if anyone ever reads this.  I need to write this out of my head, I need the pain to subside.  I need to transfer it to this small area of my quirky existence, just for a minute.  It's getting too difficult to pretend I am going to wake up and all will be well.


      We should hear back on one of the genetic tests Zachary has had.  Do I think it will come back positive?  I don't know?  Do I think it will be negative?  I don't know.   Since his blood work, I talked with his pediatrician about his left pupil showing up in a multitude of colors in photos.  She dimmed the lights and looked, there, in the bottom of his pupil, is the mass I suspected would be there.   So, as it stands, genetic disorder, or cancer. Those are our odds.

As a mother,

         It is possible to feel your heart break over and over throughout your child's life.  However, this is not the reason you suspect it will happen.  You hope he won't break your heart until he finds another love.  A girl that is a lot younger than you, prettier, fresh.  One that hasn't yelled at him about leaving his clothes on the floor for the past 18 years.  Or when they leave for college and no longer need you.  But, not this way.  Not with the balance of life and health in the throes of the cruelest cross-hairs.  If a heart could bleed I probably wouldn't be breathing.

I want to slam my fists against a hard surface until the knuckles break through, raw and bloody. Just to release the rage.  I am so angry.  I can't sleep, eat, or function properly.  And add to the misery, the hospital my son is becoming so familiar with is of course the one I spent so much of my youth at, thanks to an abusive mother.  I can't escape the misery.  I want to take my boy and run far away.  To a land with no more needles, doctors, or hurt.  God, help me, before I lose it all.   Just please give me some light.

Here's a video that has nothing to do with anything
but it's nice.