Ducky Diaries: 2012

Saturday, December 29, 2012


I have returned from Christmas land!   I have crawled my way through mega blocks and sponge bob drum kits, stepped on talking toy phones, and squished through play-doh to get to you! 

And mostly to come whine for a few minutes, if we're going to be completely honest.

It seems as though we have entered some sort of twilight zone and are smack dab in the middle of genuine separation anxiety.....    It seems Z-bear has decided to bypass the normal/standard anxiety age of roughly a year and save it for now.   

Combine that with the 18 month sleep regression,  bottom eye teeth, a mild cold, my ever growing belly and the inability to sleep through the night myself, we are having a GRAND ole'  time.

My loving, lovely toddler now will only sleep in increments of 3 hours at a time.   And that's only after I spend a half hour sitting in his room until he closes his eyes (I can't do C.I.O. it honestly breaks my heart to even try) and then wakes up roughly at 3 a.m. and needs to come into our bed.  Which up until this point was a no-no because he simply refused to sleep with us at all even on nights when mommy needed the cuddles.   So for my independent toddler who despises co-sleeping to want to willingly be in bed with us is baffling. 

My hair is fraying...   I want a drink or 7, but I can't.  I keep trying to explain to him that everything is okay, but everything isn't okay unless he is attached to mommy.  

Other than all that jolly nonsense above we had a wonderful Christmas and even got a belated Christmas gift on the 27th.    We had our big anatomy scan!   The verdict was hard to see, since wee baby's legs were tightly closed most of the appointment, but after a few jiggles of nothing falling out or dropping we are pretty confident we have a little miss in there!!!  Tom is way more excited than I am.  Not that I am not excited, because I am over the moon, but Tom is ecstatic to have one of each.

 I am just genuinely one of those annoying mothers that say "As long as they are healthy I don't care what they are!", and I actually mean it.  

All looks healthy and great.   Of course the tech had to say "unofficially"  looks great and my Dr. will give me the results, but everything looks great. 

So for now we'll call her 'Miss R' until delivery when we announce her given name but we are all excited and the family is over the moon.   20 weeks down and 20 more healthy weeks to go. 

I hope everyone has a fantastic New Years and I will see you all in

Friday, December 21, 2012

Are you there world? It's me, Candace.

Are you there?  

If anyone is reading this, we have apparently survived the Mayan Apocalypse!  
Well, in Ohio we still have about 2.5 hours until it's the 22nd.   So I suppose we are not completely in the clear.   

I don't know about you, but I have had a pretty anti-climatic Dooms Day.  Outside of Z-bear going to his 18 month appointment and getting a few stabs in the leg.  And then going to Giant Eagle grocery store for some chocolate chip cookies.   Like the end of the world, my cookies were a disappointment.  

But otherwise ......

 Sing it R.E.M.  (It's the end of the world as we know it.)

I did make one satisfying quest pre- apocalypse though...

MATERNITY PANTS!!!!   OMG!!!!!!!!    Why oh why did I not purchase these last time?!  Oh yea, because apparently I was trying to look cute my whole pregnancy.   Forget that mess!  These ^ THESE ^ pants are the BOMB-DIGGITY!!!!  

   Here is some obligated cuteness.....
Oh, and P.S.
When all you're getting is non-stop rain for a week, Do NOT ever say out loud that you are sad you won't have a white Christmas because, I shit you not, 12 hours later this is what you'll get!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Professional Confessional

This is my favorite time of year.   It's a time for joy, good food, good times and great confessions! 

I don't think I've ever done a post based solely on confessions, and well, heck, it sounds like a jive ole' time to me!!!   So please add yours in the comments section.  It'd be nice to know that I am not the only weirdo and also to laugh at you all.     :)

Here goes my scandalous confessions for your reading pleasure. 

  • I forget to brush my teeth sometimes and am then forced to be out in public with stink mouth.
  • I also usually brush my teeth in the shower.
  • I usually pee in the shower as well.  Sometimes while brushing my teeth. 
  • I am gross.
  • I fart a lot due to pregnancy.
  • I blame it on Zachary.   Or the person closest to me in a public place.
  • I steal Zacharys food sometimes while he's eating.
  • I don't feel bad, he steals mine all the time. 
  • I occasionally let Zachary watch Yo Gabba Gabba while I browse the internet.
  • I occasionally say I bathed Zachary the previous night so Tom will do it when I don't want to.
  • I have gained 10 pounds so far.  I'm pretty sure it's mostly in my ass.
  • Yesterday I bit a hang nail off of Zacharys toe.  His feet stunk.  
  • I tell Zacharys in home therapists we had a rough morning when we are still wearing our jammies at 11:00 a.m.  Truthfully, I was just too lazy to get us dressed.   

And there you have it.  I am genuinely gross.    And I am oddly okay with it.   :D 

Feel free to share yours below! 

      Here are some pictures since my blog doesn't feel complete without a few.

Zachary in his new temporary compression vest.
 17.2 week belly.  My room is a mess, don't judge me!
And another Christmas shot. 
14 days and counting until Christmas!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Free Ham

Hello blogsters extraordinaire! 

Today I am doing something from my heart just for the Ho-Ho-HO-HOLIDAYS!!! 

I am going to give away a FREE ham!!!!!    Yes you read that right!!!  Free- HAM!!!  I'll show you a picture of this delectable give-away. 

Mmmmm, doesn't it just look so appetizing???!!!  He's all yours folks!  Free, just claim your prize, and I will indeed ship you this ham! 

Okay... Fine,
so it's not an actual ham, just my child who is a complete ham.    I thought I would at least try.  Can you blame me? 

Here's the deal, he pooped in the potty yesterday, takes 3 hour naps, and only wakes up at 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. so in my opinion, he's a steal! 

LoL  all jokes aside, I can't give him away, he's my little side kick.    And there's that whole umbilical cord thing... I don't think Tom ever cut it, and I can't seem to either. I'm pretty attached to the little fellow.   I shouldn't have tricked you. 

But in other news,  check this out!!! I wore a fancy new white shirt yesterday for all of 13 (fine I slept in it to so 20) hours, and managed to not get a single stain or mark or booger or poo smear on it!!!  I even cooked spaghetti for dinner and ate it to!   I am still in disbelief, but of course when I woke up this morning and did dishes I did splash greasy spaghetti water all over that top.   I should have taken it off last night and just not pushed my luck.   But I don't think.  That's part of my charm.   
And on to another topic, I hope everyone is having a fantastic holiday season and that you get to be with your loved ones.  I hope I don't upset or offend anyone but, I know a lot of people get super stressed around this time of year, for one reason or another.  I do wish everyone could have unlimited funds to buy for Christmas, but that just isn't what this time is about.  So as we navigate into another year, lets be thankful that we have family and friends.  Lets be thankful for our children. 
Especially while they are toddlers and a box filled with wrapping paper is way more awesome than the 70 dollar power wheel that was in the box. 
 However, during this time let's also be thankful for the men and women who can't be home.
Our armed forces and their families.
Lets challenge each other to go out of our way while we hustle and bustle, to think of others.
And give to those less fortunate than us. 
Okay sentimental momma out!
But isn't this picture too ADORABLE!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Don't fear the Rooster.

I have noticed recently, that there are extreme differences between the parent/ child sleep system.

Our cherubic innocent wee children wake up refreshed, happy, ready to tackle the whole day. Or at least (if you're among the select lucky few) the 4-5 hours until nap time.  

Parents, we wake up a bit differently.   Exhausted, agitated, in yesterdays make-up (fathers I won't judge).    Sometimes with a few strands of yesterdays spaghetti dinner in our hair, wearing our husbands "Hooters" t-shirt over our fanciest granny panties.  

And then we are assaulted by shrieks of giggles, siren wails of "MOMS", and orders for breakfast as though we are a short order cook.     

Yay!  It's morning time!!!  And this happens at roughly 7 a.m. every day. Give or take 10 minutes.  And it never seems to matter whether the children fall asleep at 8 p.m. or 10 p.m. , come 7 a.m. the rooster will call, loudly, for you to get your ass out of bed and feed it! 

"Come on woman, I have got things to do, toys to turn on at full volume, play dates to set up!"

Never mind you had a late night at work, watched t.v. until 1 a.m. because you were cleaning until midnight.   Just accept your fate and brew a pot of coffee.  It never gets better, I've heard.  At least until you have a teenager and then you beg them to get out of bed.   Sleep is for the WEAK!!! 

How is this right?   That is a question I cannot truly answer, however I can speculate.   I am pretty sure all children are imprinted in the womb with instructions to turn on a parents "self destruct" mode. 

Monday, November 26, 2012

Marie Antoinette

Hello fine people of the blog world.  

Today, has been interesting. To say the least.  And if you are reading this it is only because Zachary is finally asleep and I have inhaled my Taco Bell and am completely satisfied with life. 

things were a little different just about an hour ago.   We started off okay enough this morning, but that was apparently the calm before the storm.   This house was crazy today ya'll!!!!  

Zachary has shown me how Bi-polar a Gemini toddler can really be and he has done it in a glorious fashion.  I have been questioning where the sanity is in getting pregnant with a second. 

At one point I became all Marie Antoinette today and stopped caring...  I gave him whatever he wanted.   With reckless abandon.   
Instead of writing out every painstaking moment, I will just post some pictures to show you how my day has gone with a toddler who has a huge molar ripping through his bloody gums.
                              Don't Judge me!!!  He's being quiet.
                              I think he has the sucker in the right spot.
                               The drool!!!  OMG!!!  THE DROOL!!!
    Sure, yep, pull my hair, who needs it! Doesn't hurt at all. LIES!
                                                   Life is horrible.
    I have a belly button... And a drool stain on my pants that looks like pee.
                                    And life is horrible once more.
                                                    Eh, I guess it isn't so bad.

And there you have it.   And I am aware that his crying picture is a duplicate... Mid picture taking I wondered when does taking pictures of your child screaming begin to look like child abuse.  So you blog world, only get the one.   

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Oh how I've missed thee.

Oh my BLOG!

I've missed you. My precious outlet from my own brain!

It's been awhile! I normally wouldn't take such an extended hiatus from writing, but, we've had some craziness here the last few weeks. 

I was planning on posting Friday, however, went to my Dr. appointment and they decided to try the Fetal heart Doppler on me at 12 weeks and some change..... And guess what, NO HEARTBEAT. So I was scheduled for an ultrasound for yesterday for viability. 

And all that is just depressing, who wants to write about that?  And basically all I've done the last four days is eat ya'll.  I couldn't sit still, sleep, think, so all the food in my house became my best friend.  Kiwi, Watermelon, Chicken flavored Ramen noodles (how I loathe/love thee), chips and salsa-SURE WHY NOT!, popcorn, omg, seriously you name it, I probably ate it over the weekend. 

I dare my Dr. to say I'm fat!!!  DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!!!

Anyhoozers, on to a happy note.  Baby is fine, looking great!  Heartbeat of 157 last night (oh did I mention my ultrasound was at 7:30 p.m.?  WHO THE EFF DOES THAT?) ,  wiggly, kicking, hiccupping, sucking of the thumb, massive cuteness that now looks like an actual baby!!!  OMG NOM ON THE BABY CHEEKS ME WANTS TO! 

And we are officially about to send out Zacharys big brother cards!  But these below are not those, just pictures of wee baby in my belly.   Soak up the cuteness!!!!

Oh- And... I'm learning to crochet!!!!  I am actually feeling quite proud of myself, so don't tell me the hats are ugly... They took days, seriously days to make!!! 

 And then, there's this little boy, the star of the show.  Big Brother Zachary himself...   I love this kid. And yes, apparently I am the kind of mother that's like "Yea, that's great, just sit for this picture with that crochet hook stuck in the hat and don't eat it or poke your eye out with it."   No shame in my game.   

But speaking of big brother, I must go make him wake up because we have one heck of a busy day today.   In just a few hours, my house will be filled with coordinators, therapists, and E.I. workers for Zacharys I.F.S.P.  and goal writing and all that jazz.   Fun times! 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Happy Halloween!   

I hope everyone has enjoyed this years festivities!    

Ours have been wet and cold.  Not an entirely pleasant combination.  We decided not to take Zachary 'trick or treating' this year, but we did pass out candy.  And he did get to 'trick or treat' at Physical Therapy.    

Had I thought about it, I would have taken pictures of his getting candy, but, I didn't have my camera and even if I would have I'm not sure I would have posted the pictures of him walking with a huge blue metal gait trainer, otherwise known as a walking device.   Knowing my luck some A-hole would probably steal the picture and turn my son into an inappropriate 'e-card' and I'd have to harm someone.   

                           Here is a picture of said Gait trainer that my son uses.   We are thinking about purchasing one for home, they're only ONE THOUSAND dollars... Only....   

This is not my son....  Just an adorable little boy in the advertisement of this walker.   

Anyhoo- He was dressed in his adorable little dinosaur costume, that looked like a giant green frog....    

So just picture this,  in a Gait Trainer, grabbing candy and tossing it into his bag.   

   It was completely ADORABLE!!  I CRIED, PEOPLE, LITERALLY CRIED!  It was so AWESOME to see him walking, even though it was with the use of an assist device, it was still so cool.   I will say he disappointed me though...  He grabbed Gobstoppers and Whoppers and Lemon Tootsie Rolls!  Come on son, Momma wanted KIT KATS!!!!    We must FEED this pregnant belly!  

And speaking of pregnant belly.  We are right on the verge of 12 weeks!  HOLY WOWZA! It's flying by this time...    I am finally getting some energy.  Some, not much.  My poor husband... That's all I will say.    

And with this one last thing, I will end this shenanigan and see you in November.  

I'm pretty sure that since my body no longer has a period, my nose has decided to have one.   Holy pregnancy nose bleeds batman!!!!    I've been going between spotting to full on bleeding for the last two days.  I'm sitting here holding a lite flow Tampon and a regular flow Tampon.  I'm not sure which one to shove up my nostril.  

Oi Vey!    

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Parent Trap

par·ent  (pârnt, pr-)
1. One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.
2. An ancestor; a progenitor.
3. An organism that produces or generates offspring.
4. A guardian; a protector.

Once you become a parent, there is usually a defining moment that makes you realize that you are in fact now a parent.  And weirdly, I've noticed it isn't the birth of said child.   The moment itself is brought on by something way less dignified.    

For example,   dinner time.   

 I'm standing at the stove, placing; corn, pork chop, potato salad and Phineas and Ferb macaroni and cheese, onto my 16 month olds dinner plate and Tom is asking me what Zachary and I want to drink ie milk, water or apple juice, nothing seems out of the ordinary.   

We sit to enjoy our meal.  And that's when it hits me halfway through a bite.   I am eating Phineas and Ferb macaroni and cheese!!!  We are drinking milk out of plastic kids cups!!!   

What the heck happened here!?   When did this become our normal???  

I don't know!  I don't even think I can give you a definite answer.  It just is.  It just became normal at some point.   And oddly I am okay with life, the way it is.    

So I continue eating my dinner and I go to give myself a pat on the back, when I graze my neck and feel something crusty and chunky.  I pray that it's food, or anything other than what I know it's going to be...   But it's not.  It's a huge crusty string of my childs boogers.  

This is parenting.  

Eating little cheese covered people, drinking milk out of kids cups, wiping boogers off yourself. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Old MacMommy.

This is a picture of my beautiful utters.
Be jealous! 

Old MacMommy had a farm, E-I-E-I-O

And on her farm she had a T-REX, 

With a "Grr Grr" here and a "Grr Grr" there

Here a "Grr" there a "Grrr"
Everywhere a "Grrrrrr"

   Old MacMommy had a farm, E-I-E-I-O

And on her farm she had a COOKIE MONSTER, 

With a (NOM NOM) here and a (NOM NOM) there

Here a (NOM NOM) there a (NOM NOM)
Everywhere a (NOM NOM)

Old MacMommy had a farm, E-I-E-I-O

And on her farm she had a MONSTER TRUCK, 

With a "VROOM, VROOM" here and a "VROOM, VROOM" there

Here a "VROOM" there a "VROOM"
Everywhere a "VROOM, VROOM"

Old MacMommy says "MOOOOOoooOOooo"   
No MOAR cleaning!!!  EVER!  

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Holiday Surprises!

a brief emotional state experienced as the result of an unexpected event. Surprise can have any valence; that is, it can be neutral/moderate, pleasant, or unpleasant. If a person experiences a very powerful or long lasting surprise, it may be considered shock.

That is the definition of "Surprise".  In case you were wondering.   But anyhoo...

Hello all.

The Jackson household has been abuzz with busyness..  

We've been baking pumpkin pies, making pumpkin seeds, carving our own family of pumpkins.

No more PUNKINS please!

We've also been busy scheduling lots of appointments for Zachary.  After almost 9 months with a physical therapist we are finally getting an occupational therapist and a speech therapist!!!!  WOOOOO!!!!  And they will be coming to us!!!  Thank you "Help Me Grow"  and Early Intervention!

Hopefully with all three therapies combined we will start seeing something exciting.

And speaking of exciting...

Holy Shit BATMAN!!!   

The Dr. laughed, literally LAUGHED at me when I told her that I don't know how this happened....
She then stated
 "I know how this happened." 

Okay, well, yes, I KNOW  how this happened....  But....  What I mean is.... 

I'm about to SUE the shit out of Trojan!   

Apparently, we are the 1% that proper use fails for.

We are in fact excited.   And I am in fact enjoying the junk food and toms willingness to run where ever at 2 a.m. to get me a blue raspberry slushie.    I am missing the wine however.  Sigh.  

But here are some pictures of our pumpkins.  :D   

Mine is the cute girly one....
Just saying. 

I don't know what at this moment was so interesting...

At least he smiled. 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

October- Welcome to the house of Toddler Terror!

What day is it?

I don't know.

What time is it?

I don't know.

When did I last write a post?

I don't know.


It is October, that is ALL I know.  And only because I'm pretty sure I had a birthday this month.  Other than that we are drowning in a sleep strike or a sleep regression over here.  My precious son doesn't seem to understand that when there's an 18 month sleep regression, you wait until you are 18 MONTHS!  Apparently we dive head first into regressions here a full 2 months early.  YAY!!!

We are having the time of our lives.

Seriously.  Nothing is more fun than partying at 2 a.m. with a toddler. Blues Clues, warm milk and crackers for EVERYONE ya'll!    WHOOOOOOO!!!

Here are some pictures, because without sleep I am not coherent enough to write an actual post today.

Zachary has a girlfriend, and she is the cutest thing ever. And also in disguise.

Pumpkin patch kid!  

I like this little fella.  

And my birthday cake.  Mmmmm!
That's Toms ass, ^ he thought he was hilarious, until I told  him this was for my blog. 
Our Pumpkin family...  Mmm, Can't wait to bake some pumpkin seeds!